I Didn't Believe Till I Experienced...

Here Are The 15 Rules Or Laws That Pune Lives By

1. The Other Side Law:
If my side of the road has a traffic jam, then I can start driving on the wrong side of the road, and all incoming cars will be rerouted via Nanded.

2. The Queue Nahin Rule:
If there is a queue of many people, no one will notice me sneaking into the front as long as I am looking the other way.

3. The Mind Over Matter Law:
If a red light is not working, four cars from different directions can easily pass through one another.

4. The Auto Axiom:
If I indicate which way I am going to turn my auto rickshaw, it is an information security leak.

5. The In Spit Of Thing:
The more I lean out of my car or bus, and the harder I spit, the stronger the roads become.

6. The Cinema Hall Fact:
If I get a call on my mobile phone, the film automatically goes into pause mode.

7. The Brotherhood Law:
If I want to win an argument, I need only to repeatedly suggest that the other person has illicit relations with his sister or mother.. .

8. The Baraat Right:
When I'm on the road to marriage, all the roads in the city belong to me.

9. The Heart Of Things:
If I open enough buttons on my shirt, the pretty girl at the bus stop can see through my hairy chest into the depths of my soul.

10. The Name Game:
It is very important for the driver behind me to memorise the nicknames of my children.

11. Parking Up The Wrong Tree:
When I double-park my car, the road automatically widens so that the traffic is not affected.

12. The Chill Bill Move:
When I park and block someone else's car I am giving him a chance to pause, relax, chill and take a few moments off from his rushed day.

13. The Burrp Break:
The louder I burp in a public place; the more it helps other people digest their food.

14. The Bus Karo Law:
If I don't stop my bus at the correct place near the bus stop, the city will explode and blow into 6 million pieces.

15. The VIP Rule:
There are only 7 important persons in this city-Me, I, Myself, Main, Mainu, Aami and Moi !

PS: Although these rules have been made for Pune - BUT - they are applicable to MOCOI (Most other cities of India)

Adventures of Sivaranjan

SIVARANJAN & THE INTERVIEWER
Interviewer: What is your birth date?
Sivaranjan : 13th October
Interviewer: Which year?
Sivaranjan: ... EVERY YEAR

SIVARANJAN & HIS MANAGER
Manager asked to Sivaranjan at an interview....
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sivaranjan replied: P-O-S-T-B-O- X

SIVARANJAN & LONDON TRIP
After returning back from a foreign trip, Sivaranjan asked his wife, Do I
look like a foreigner?
Wife : No! Why?
Sivaranjan : In London, a lady asked me, "Are you a foreigner?".. that's why ...

SIVARANJAN & TOURIST
One tourist from U.S.A.asked to Sivaranjan whether any great man born in this
village or not .. and Sivaranjan said .. "No sir, only babies were born here."

SIVARANJAN & HIS EXPERIMENT
Sivaranjan was experimenting with a cockroach. First he cut off oneof it's
leg and told WALK. WALK. Cockroach walked.
Then he cutoff it's second leg and told the same. Cockroach walked. Then
he cut off the third leg and did the same. At last he cut off it's fourth
leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didn't walk.
Suddenly Sivaranjan said loudly, "I found it. If we cut cockroach's four
legs, it becomes deaf.
Sivaranjan become a saint!

SIVARANJAN & DRIVER
When Sivaranjan was travelling with his wife in a motorised tricycle, the
driver adjusted mirror. Sivaranjan shouted, "Are you trying to see my wife? Come,
sit back here and I will drive.

SIVARANJAN GOES TO HOTEL
Sivaranjan went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There he
started washing the basin. Seeing this, the manager asked what was he
doing. Sivaranjan pointed towards the board "WASHBASIN"

SIVARANJAN & INTERVIEWER - FINAL PART
Interviewer : Just imagine your in 20th floor in a building, it caught
fire and how will you escape ?
Sivaranjan : It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination . :)

Oh .. i forgot . the funniest part ...
On a political rally Sivaranjan was arrested. Why ????????????
Because, a woman journalist walking with a badge wrote "PRESS" on her
right chest ... and he did it !

Why I Love my City !!!

7 Different reasons I love my city:

Energy Savings

My city has regular periodic (approved – not me but some one has approved) power cuts, which has helped me in my education, skills and knowledge upgrading and other such literary activities

Earlier I used to watch so much TV on weekends and even after coming back from work daily. These power cuts have helped me by not watching TV. So I spend my time now by reading so many magazines, and books. Also cooking has become my favorite past time.

Environment Friendly

The power cuts have reduced the production (non-existent) and my usage (which is hardly any – 110 units /month) considerably, thereby decreasing the GHG emissions in the atmosphere. At this rate, we will comply with Kyoto protocol by next year only; don’t have to wait till 2012.

Savings

Due to the power cuts, my electricity bill has reduced drastically, there by less usage of my microwave used for majority of pre-cooking and post cooking activities. Also the usage of all electronic equipment and heaters, thereby increasing the life of all white goods used. Also the time and effort in cooking is saved.

Health

Health has improved to a great extent as I eat outside most of my time. This is due to the avoidance of my extremely oily, fried food cooking. Hence less cooking, leading to more additional time, more reading and more improvement under #1.

Social Life

Earlier, I used to be home most of the time, watching TV or doing something at home. Now, I spend more time checking out my neighbors (some good? looking girls) and other buildings. Thereby my eyesight has also improved. I go out for movies to theatres, thereby improving my social life. More people know who I am now than they new before. Great beginnings!!!!

Infrastructure

The infrastructure like roads and other things are so poor, that u don’t feel like spending time outside at all either driving or doing anything. (Once u shop, u spend more; the less u go out, more the savings).

The roads have pits the size of my car, so it’s pretty cool that my car can sit in any of the pit lane at any time. It’s like parking basically, U Park in the pit and wait for the tow truck to come and take it out.

Ownership and Patriotism

In this part of the country, people take ownership of the road, as if it is their own (Built to drive formula). They drive according to their wishes and are in total control of themselves. They don’t bother who else is driving on the road. They spit only next to them, thereby not intruding in others spitting zone.

Such a pleasure to be in such circumstances…. I keep telling my friends. If I ever leave my job and go somewhere, I will surely remember the city only. Definitely, as other things are not worth remembering…. Friends, office, work, colleagues have never left me any memories… it’s only the city that is etched in my memory forever…

So many benefits in one city!!! The dream of the future….

NINE PHRASES THAT WOMEN USE THE MOST!!!

Hi folks,
It’s been some time since I promised to write some thing and haven’t written. Well…There are some experiences that I have gathered over a time talking to lot of women and then I thought what if this is it. For a change I got a different topic to write finally!!!.....

Nine Phrases that Women Use and what do they mean by them!!!!!

Fine -- Fine is a simple word, which means ok, but when the women use it, it becomes like this “I AM RIGHT AND YOU NEED TO SHUT UP”.

Five mins -- how many times we might have heard, when you ask “HONEY! ARE YOU READY?” and she says “FIVE MINS, DEAR”... Well the truth is five mins is five mins when you are watching the last over of the world cup final with India vs. Australia and you say I need five mins…. Because in 5 mins the match will be over…. But the women’s five mins means that it’s going to be 30 mins... So watch out...

Nothing -- Many times when we see women, just blank doing nothing, we tend to ask “WHAT HAPPENED?” and they say “NOTHING”. Its means there is some thing. It’s the calm before the storm. Arguments starts with “Nothing” and end with “Fine”.

Go ahead -- sometimes you get irritated and you tell “I am going to find some one else better than you” and she says “Go ahead”. IT'S A DARE, NOT PERMISSION. So please don’t be fooled by this, otherwise you are dead.

Loud Sigh -- A non verbal statement….When you want to help her out and you ask her “WHERE DO I KEEP THIS?” and she gives a LOUD SIGH. This is the only phrase that is expression bound and audio oriented, but no words come out. It basically means that “U ARE SUCH AN IDIOT”. That is what she thinks of you.

That’s ok -- You were doing some thing in a room and broke some thing and she rushes into the room and sees what you have done. You are apologetic and look at her but she says “THAT’S OK” and she leaves. That means that she is planning to get back at you at a later stage and she will surely make you pay more than your worth. Please be careful.

Don’t worry about it, I got it -- This means that she had asked you to do some thing so many times and got fed up of it that now she is doing it herself. While doing so, she will show tendencies of #3. It means that you will ask “WHAT HAPPENED?” and she will say “NOTHING”. Phrase #3 situation takes over from here.

Whatever -- You are busy saying how much you have worked this week and you have earned credit form your boss and she says “WHATEVER”. It basically means she doesn’t care about it and it’s her way of saying “F*** YOU”, SO WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL?

Thanks -- It’s the rarest of all phrases, probably once in a life time phrase. So please shut up and just accept it by saying “YOU’RE WELCOME”. Anything more than that will result in any of the earlier phrases being used. So please shut up and take it.

I am sure these are the best and only phrases that women can come up with any time in their lives to use against any one. So all the children, men, and any one who is not women, please note it down and be ready with the reply.

If you happened to find anything better than these, please do leave a comment and I will try to research into them. Till then….

For the love of God!!!

GVK